That Guy!

English: Man smoking a cigar.

Image via Wikipedia

Why is it that every club has one or two members that ruin membership for the rest of us? Someone please tell me it’s just me!

You know him, he’s the duffer who shows up five minutes before his tee time and thinks he has time for a bag of balls. He doesn’t warm up so he feels he deserves two off the first tee.

He won’t allow the starter to pair him with women or old people even though we know both groups stay in the fairway and typically play quicker than him.

Many golfers enjoy a nice cigar out on the course but he’s the one who lights up right beside the pro shop entrance so everybody gets a good lung-full of stink. He also smokes those foul-smelling stogies on the range or putting green on the rare occasions he does practice.

This member is a bogey golfer at best with a “self taught” swing and thinks lessons would just mess him up. When he does practice, he chips and pitches on the putting green and putts on the chipping green.

During rounds he never repairs divots or ball marks but complains about brown spots on the green and bumpy fairways. He always has his own golf cart because he won’t ride shotgun and doesn’t let anyone ride with him since he relies on his trusty foot wedge and somehow never loses a ball even though it may have sliced or hooked it fifty yards sideways into the woods, a lake, a back yard, or quick sand. He also thinks every five foot putt of his is a gimmie.

He is always on his cell phone during the round and of course wears the hands free ear boom to show how important he is but still doesn’t realize he doesn’t have to scream for people on the other end to hear him.

You know him; he drives his golf cart right up to the green and has his radio on during the entire round never asking if you mind. He also has a twelve pack tucked under his seat he brought from home so he doesn’t have to pay the course $20 for a sixer or tip the cart gal.

This is the same guy who never reports good rounds so he can sandbag for club championships, member guest tournaments or the weekly stableford. Don’t worry, it won’t matter cause he is far worse than his current handicap anyway; see foot wedge and lost ball comment above.

Nobody can stand the guy nor do we want him on our course. If you are this guy, I feel sorry for your wife and kids. The rules of golf and course etiquette are not that hard to follow.

We as golfers should be appreciative of what we have and privileged to be involved in this sport. For some, however, the word privilege means something entirely different.

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